By Dr. Monica Johnson, PsyD

You may have heard someone mention IFS, or seen the term come up when you were searching for a therapist. Internal Family Systems therapy has grown significantly in popularity over the past decade — and for good reason. But the name can sound abstract, even a little intimidating, if you’re not sure what it means.

This post is a plain-language explanation of what IFS is, how it actually works in a therapy session, and how to know whether it might be the right fit for what you’re going through.

The Core Idea: You Are Not One Thing

Internal Family Systems was developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz in the 1980s, originally while working with clients who described having different “parts” of themselves that seemed to conflict. One part wanted to move on. Another part couldn’t let go. One part pushed everyone away. Another desperately wanted connection.

Rather than treating these internal conflicts as symptoms to be eliminated, Schwartz built a model around them. The central insight of IFS is that the mind is naturally made up of multiple sub-personalities — or parts — and that this multiplicity is not pathology. It is how human beings are built.

Alongside these parts, IFS holds that each person has a Self — a core that is calm, curious, compassionate, and capable of leading. The goal of IFS therapy is not to get rid of your parts. It is to help your Self lead them.

The Three Types of Parts

IFS describes three main categories of parts:

Managers

Managers run the show on a day-to-day basis. They work hard to keep you functioning, keep you safe from criticism, and prevent you from feeling pain. The inner critic, the perfectionist, the people-pleaser, the over-achiever — these are often manager parts. They have good intentions, even when their strategies are exhausting.

Firefighters

When a manager fails and painful feelings break through, firefighters act fast to suppress them. They are reactive and impulsive by nature. Substance use, binge eating, rage, dissociation, compulsive scrolling — these are often firefighter strategies. Again: the intention is protection, even when the behavior causes harm.

Exiles

Exiles are the parts that carry the original pain — shame, grief, fear, loneliness, the memories of experiences we couldn’t process at the time. They are often younger parts, formed early in life. Managers and firefighters exist specifically to keep exiles locked away, because the pain feels unbearable. IFS therapy works toward healing the exiles so that the entire system no longer has to work so hard to keep them contained.

What an IFS Session Actually Looks Like

IFS is different from traditional talk therapy in its approach. Rather than analyzing your past or challenging your thoughts, your therapist will guide you into a kind of internal conversation — asking you to notice what is showing up inside and to get curious about it.

A typical session might involve your therapist asking: “What do you notice in your body right now?” or “Is there a part of you that wants to talk today?” You might be guided to visualize a part, to ask it questions, or simply to observe it with curiosity rather than judgment.

The pace of IFS is intentional. Nothing is forced. Parts are approached with respect, not attacked. The therapeutic relationship is less about the therapist directing you toward an outcome and more about both of you following what the internal system is ready to show.

What IFS Is Effective For

IFS has a growing research base supporting its effectiveness for a range of concerns. Research published in Psychological Trauma: Theory, Research, Practice, and Policy found that a group-based IFS program for PTSD was feasible, acceptable, and produced significant improvements in trauma symptoms. A pilot study by Hodgdon et al. (2021) found significant reductions in PTSD symptoms, depression, dissociation, and shame among adults with complex trauma histories who received IFS therapy.

IFS is particularly well-suited for:

• Trauma and complex PTSD — especially when direct exposure-based approaches feel too overwhelming
• Anxiety — including the parts that drive anxious patterns beneath the surface
• Depression and low self-esteem — particularly when a harsh inner critic is involved
• Relationship difficulties — understanding the parts that show up in conflict
• Identity and self-understanding — especially for people navigating multiple cultural identities
• Eating concerns — addressing the underlying parts rather than the behavior alone

At Kind Mind Psychology, our IFS work is culturally informed. We understand that many of our clients’ parts formed in response to specific cultural pressures, family systems, and experiences of racism, immigration, and identity navigation. A parts-based approach that ignores that context is incomplete. We don’t ignore it.

Is IFS Right for You?

IFS might be a particularly strong fit if:

• You feel like different parts of you want different things and you’re caught in the middle
• You understand your patterns intellectually but can’t seem to change them
• You have a harsh inner critic that makes it hard to feel okay about yourself
• You’ve experienced trauma and find more direct approaches feel overwhelming
• You want to understand yourself more deeply, not just manage your symptoms

IFS can also be integrated with other evidence-based approaches — at Kind Mind, we often combine it with CBT, EMDR, and DBT depending on what a client needs. You do not have to choose one approach and stick to it forever. Good therapy adapts to you.

Working With an IFS Therapist at Kind Mind

Kind Mind Psychology offers IFS therapy virtually across New York, New Jersey, North Carolina, and 40+ PSYPACT states. Our team is trained in IFS alongside a range of other evidence-based modalities, and our practice is built around culturally affirming, non-judgmental care.

We accept Aetna, Cigna, BCBS (NC), Northwell Direct (NY), and offer sliding scale starting at $25/session. Learn more about our insurance and fees.

If you’re curious about whether IFS might be right for you, the best next step is a consultation. Reach out here to get started.