Couples Therapy

Do You And Your Partner Feel Like You’re Not On The Same Page Anymore?

Are you arguing more than you used to?
Does the communication feel off?
Deep down, do both of you wish you could go back to when you first fell in love and the romance felt effortless?
Maybe all your conversations go in circles and are riddled with misunderstanding. Perhaps a sense of roommate syndrome has come over your marriage or relationship—you tolerate each other, but the deep connection isn’t there anymore. For the first time, you might find yourselves wondering if you should see a couples therapist.

Perhaps You Both Have Different Ideas About Your Future Together

You might disagree about whether to have kids, share a bank account, or keep the relationship monogamous. Maybe you want to open up the relationship for polyamory or ethical non-monogamy, but your partner takes it as a sign that you don’t love them. Perhaps there’s a desire discrepancy when it comes to sex—one of you is kinkier than the other or simply wants to have sex more often.

Additionally, you may be thinking of getting married and moving in together. You probably want to ensure that you’re starting off on secure footing and have the skills to transition as a team. If you and your partner want to improve your communication and deepen your intimacy, we encourage you to pursue couples counseling with us. Here at Kind Mind Psychology, we help couples in New York and New Jersey have healthy communication, good sex lives, and more fulfilling relationships.

No Couple Sees Eye To Eye On Everything—And That’s Okay

All too often, we buy into the myth of the perfect soulmate. We expect to find someone who’s romantically compatible with us in every way and on the same page with us at all times.

But the truth is that there is no such thing as the perfect soulmate—and that’s okay. You and your partner don’t always have to see eye to eye or share the same opinions. It’s okay to have different values, goals, and ideas about intimacy. It’s not always about being on the same page—it’s about moving toward a shared conclusion. Maturing as a couple means acknowledging your differences and making appropriate compromises for the sake of the relationship.

Many Non-Traditional Couples Don’t Have Role Models To Look Up To

For queer couples and those who are polyamorous or ethically non-monogamous, it’s often hard to find good relationship role models. For so much of history, our society has really only acknowledged monogamous, heterosexual marriages. And even though non-traditional relationships work just as well as traditional ones, there are so many negative messages surrounding relationships that are queer, poly, or ENM.

As a practice, we work with both traditional and non-traditional couples. If you and your partner feel like you’re out in uncharted territory, we’re here to help you navigate it.

Therapy Can Help Couples Rekindle Their Love For Each Other

When you’re going through a hard time in your relationship, it’s so easy to lose sight of the big picture. Couples therapy with Kind Mind is a chance to step back and ask: what does it mean to be in a healthy relationship? How does your idea of a healthy relationship differ from society’s idea of one? What are your reasons for staying connected? How do you want to shape your future together?

Answering these questions can help you and your partner gain insight into your differences and be more engaged with each other. We want to give both of you the skills to move forward as a couple and rekindle the spark that you had in the beginning of your relationship.

What To Expect In Couples Therapy Sessions

Our approach to counseling is adjustable depending on your needs and goals. Typically, we will see you and your partner together for the intake session to go over your main concerns. After that, it’s possible to do individual sessions with each of you separately before meeting together again.

The goal of meeting individually is to enrich the joint sessions by going over personal issues in more detail. For instance, if one of you has a significant trauma history, meeting with your couples therapist individually gives you a chance to go deeper and explore how trauma shows up in your relationship. Doing this work gives your therapist a clearer idea of what interventions to use when you’re all meeting together.

Our Approach To Couples Therapy

We draw from a wide range of approaches to help couples, including:

The Gottman Method — a longstanding, well-researched approach to counseling that seeks to help couples rebuild trust, improve communication, and overcome defensive behaviors.


Emotionally-Focused Therapy — an approach that aims to help couples reignite their emotional bond. It teaches couples to communicate their emotions instead of blaming or criticizing.


Prepare and Enrich — a form of therapy that helps couples get off on a strong footing and ensures they’re on the same page regarding marriage, finances, kids, etc.


Ultimately, the skills for improving your relationship are learnable. So no matter what your starting point is or what kind of relationships were modeled for you growing up, it is possible to learn the skills to have a fruitful, long-lasting relationship.

You May Have Some Questions About Marriage And Couples Counseling

What if it’s too late to start couples therapy?

It is never too late! Oftentimes, couples get so stuck in negative patterns that they don’t think they’ll ever get out. They tell themselves: “My partner and I are just the way we are and nothing will ever change that.” But relationship skills really are learnable. By consistently implementing them consistently into your lives, you can transform the way you communicate and transform your relationship as a result.

Are you affirming of non-traditional relationships?

We are deeply affirming. We offer counseling for couples who are gay, lesbian, trans, and anywhere else on the LGBTQ+ spectrum. We also support couples who are polyamorous, ethically non-monogamous, and into kink.

Doesn’t going to therapy mean we’re about to break up?

Sadly, many couples delay going to therapy because they think it signals the end of their relationship. Nothing could be further from the truth. Going to therapy is a sign that you want the best for your relationship and will do everything you can to make it work. If you and your significant other do decide to part ways, we’ll help you do so gracefully, but we’ll never push you to make a decision regarding the future of your relationship.

Reignite Your Emotional Bond With Couples Therapy

If you’re a couple in New York or New Jersey that wants to move forward and reestablish your loving connection, we are confident that we can help.

To get started, contact us or call (646) 918 – 1181.