Are You Struggling To Get Your Needs Met In The Bedroom?
Is your sex life frustrating and unfulfilling?
Do you have trouble orgasming or staying aroused?
Has a desire discrepancy started to affect your relationship with your partner?
Maybe you and your significant other have differing levels of libido—one of you simply wants to get it on more than the other. Perhaps you’re struggling to communicate your needs and boundaries in the bedroom. Although there are kinks and fantasies you want to explore, you’re not sure how to talk about them. As a result, you may be considering a sex therapist.
Your Sexual Struggles Could Be The Result Of Trauma Or Medical Issues
If you suffered from sexual abuse in the past, sex could be incredibly difficult for you. It’s hard for you to trust anyone—let alone trust someone with the most intimate parts of yourself. And if you grew up in a culture where sex was viewed as taboo, having it might make you feel dirty. The negative beliefs you internalized could add to your sexual trauma.
Additionally, there might be chronic pain or an underlying medical condition that’s impacting your sex life. Perhaps you’re suffering from delayed orgasm, premature orgasm, erectile dysfunction, or an STI.
Most People Grow Up With So Many Negative Ideas About Sex
They’re encouraged not to talk about sex, shamed for certain types of sex, or not given the right sex education. As a result, millions of people suffer from sexual frustration in silence. Many of them simply aren’t having the sex that they want because they’ve never been taught how to communicate their sexual needs.
Additionally, those who grow up in sex-negative environments tend to experience profound sexual guilt. They’re often told that sex only exists for reproductive purposes, not enjoyment. This causes them to feel dirty or guilty when they do enjoy sex, leading to feelings of self-loathing.
Many People Resist Getting Sexual Help Because They Think It’s Not Important
They often ask themselves “Is sex really the most necessary thing to get support for?” Nonetheless, most people consider sex an essential part of their lives. After all, water is only water until you’re in the desert—in the same way, sex may not seem important until you’re not getting your sexual needs met.
This is why getting help for sexual issues is natural and worthwhile. If your sex life is negatively affecting your mental health, it’s probably time to see a therapist.
Sex Therapy Is A Chance To Safely Explore Your Sexuality And Prioritize Your Pleasure
Many people that come to us for sex therapy tell us that this is the first time they’ve felt able to say certain things aloud. That’s the kind of environment we strive to create. Our mission is to erase the stigma and shame surrounding sex so that nothing is taboo. We want you to feel safe and confident exploring and affirming your sexuality.
Our practice prioritizes intersectionality when it comes to sex therapy. After all, we see clients from a variety of different backgrounds. We’ll take every area of your life into account, including your background, ethnicity, and sexuality. Whether you’re polyamorous, ethically non-monogamous, or part of the LGBTQ+ community, we will support you wholeheartedly.
What To Expect In Sessions
The goal of sex therapy is generally twofold: on one hand, we’ll help you build the sex life you want for yourself in the here and now. On the other, counseling can focus on unlearning the sexual messages that stem from past trauma or a sex-negative upbringing. Working together, we’ll help you break down the sexual script that was created for you and rewrite that script to fit who you are.
Oftentimes, this means working through negative body image. One of the hallmarks of negative body image is that it keeps you from feeling connected during sex. It leads to “spectatoring”—the feeling that you’re a spectator when you’re having sex, unable to enjoy it because you’re too busy judging your own body. Overcoming negative body image allows you to live in the moment and be at peace with your body, making sex much more pleasurable.
Tailoring Your Therapy Plan
Although we offer individual sex counseling, we can also work with couples. This is especially helpful if there are communication issues between you and your partner. Couples therapy allows both of you to talk through your hangups and solve any desire discrepancies in your relationship. Our practice draws from a wide range of approaches to help clients improve their sex lives, including mindfulness, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and Sensate Focus. Mindfulness can help you increase your present-moment awareness and be less judgmental toward yourself. CBT is all about working through the cognitive distortions that prevent you from having a fulfilling sex life. And Sensate Focus can help you reduce your sexual anxiety and increase communication with your partner.
Ultimately, a lot of sexual problems are very treatable. You don’t have to keep living in sexual frustration. With our guidance and support, we’re confident that you can get in touch with yourself, prioritize your pleasure, and move toward a more satisfying sex life.
You May Have Some Questions And Concerns About Sex Therapy…
I’m not sure sex therapy is worth the time and money.
Some people think it’s weird to invest money in treatment for sex. But the truth is that sex is a very important part of life—if it wasn’t, you probably wouldn’t be reading this page! What’s more, if you’re in a committed relationship, then counseling can help you and your partner improve your relationship and deepen the sexual intimacy between you.
What if my partner or loved ones find out I’m in sex therapy?
All therapy sessions with us are 100 percent confidential. That said, the stigma around talking about sex is starting to decline. More and more people are opening up about their struggles and becoming sex positive. Therapy is a chance to work toward sex positivity and practice authenticity in your closest relationships.
Should I do sex therapy alone or with my partner?
It’s up to you! The ball’s in your court here. If the sexual issues you’re experiencing are primarily an individual problem, you’re more than welcome to come by yourself. But if there are communication issues between you and your partner, it’s usually best to do couples therapy.
Your Sexual Needs Are Important.
If you grew up with sexual scripts that told you otherwise, now is the time to rewrite them and liberate yourself from the beliefs that are holding you back. To connect with one of our sex therapists, contact us or call (646) 918 – 1181.